I Don't Care
by Elvaralind
Summary: After returning from a mission, SG1 suddenly don't care about the consequences anymore (S/J)


SPOILERS: Window of Opportunity  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate or any of the characters and I'm not getting paid for this either. I don't own the song either, so please don't sue me.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Um, only my second-ever fanfic, so i hope you enjoy it, be warned of some attempts at humor though :) Thanks again to my Beta Reader  
  
  
'Off-world Activation'. The sirens blared out across the SGC. General Hammond hurried into the control room. 'It should be SG1,' he said to himself. 'Whose code is coming through, son?' he asked the technician.  
  
The technician paused as the computer matched up the GDO signal to the ones allocated on the database. He looked up. 'It's SG1, sir'.   
  
'Thank God,' Hammond thought to himself as he hurried down to the Gateroom to welcome his best team back. No matter how many times SG1 went through the gate, he couldn't help but worry while they were away. They were the best team, and they always seem to get into the most trouble, no matter how easy the mission he sent them on was. Considering this, he was always thankful when he received their signal, and on time too, no less.   
  
'Open the Iris,' He called up to the control room. The iris opened slowly to reveal the rippling blue event horizon. General Hammond held his breath as he watched the gate. He did not have to wait long. The event horizon rippled and four figures appeared in it. He gave a sigh of relief.  
  
  
As soon as Daniel Jackson stepped on to the ramp, he stormed off it, and out of the gateroom, with a glare on his face. Jack O'Neill called out warningly, 'Daniel...'  
  
Much to the surprise of General Hammond and everyone else in the gateroom, Daniel whirled around in a fury, and yelled, 'I don't give a damn about your orders anymore, Jack!' He practically spat the last word in his anger and stormed out. Silence descended in the gateroom. No one could remember ever seeing Daniel that angry. General Hammond turned to face the rest of SG1 who still stood on the ramp. Jack looked annoyed, Sam was watching after Daniel with a raised eyebrow, and Teal'c, well Teal'c looked bored. There was no other way to describe the way he stood there. He wasn't standing to attention, as he normally did, and he was idly spinning his staff weapon around on its end, catching it before it fell.   
  
General Hammond frowned. Something was wrong. 'Care to explain, Colonel?' he asked, somewhat concerned.   
  
Jack looked at him with an air of distaste. 'Not really, no.' he said airily and sauntered out of the room, shortly followed by Teal'c and Sam, who dumped the packs on the floor and wandered out. General Hammond looked furious for a minute, and then extremely concerned. Something was definitely wrong.  
  
  
Things were not much better in the infirmary. SG1 refused to cooperate during their post mission physicals and even the threat of several painful injections did not seem to deter them. So when General Hammond rang down to the infirmary, it was a very hassled Janet Frasier who answered the phone.   
  
'Hello?'  
  
'Doctor Frasier? This is General Hammond. I was wondering, did you notice anything odd about SG1 during the post mission physicals? Behavior wise? Did anything show up on the tests?'  
  
'So I'm not the only one who noticed?' Janet asked, looking worried. 'They were certainly not their usual selves, I must say. Very uncooperative. As for the tests, well, I haven't run them all yet so I can't be sure of any physical problems... But something is definitely wrong.'   
  
Janet heard the General sigh on the other end of the line. 'Well, I'd better find out all I can at the debriefing. Maybe they'll be more themselves by then. Thank you anyway Doctor, and could you please be on standby for any possible problems?'  
  
'Yes sir,' Janet replied, 'And I'll run those tests as soon as possible.'  
  
'Thank you, Doctor. It will be much appreciated.' The General rang off. A frown crossed his face. What could have happened on that planet? He began to make his way to the briefing room, his mind whirling with theories and possibilities.  
  
  
SG1 were lounging around in the briefing room when Hammond entered. Jack had his feet up on the table; Daniel was swinging in his chair, looking bored, while Sam was making paper aeroplanes out of her notepad, and showing Teal'c how to fly them. None of them even looked up from what they were doing to acknowledge Hammond's presence. The General watched them for a minute as they continued to ignore them before clearing his throat. They glanced at him for a minute before resuming their activities.   
  
'If we could get on with the briefing now, SG1?' Hammond spoke with his most authoritative voice.  
  
Grumbling and muttering, the team moved to their seats, Jack slowly removing his feet from the table with a sigh. Hammond frowned at him. 'Colonel?' he prompted.  
  
Jack gave an exasperated grumble. 'We went to the planet, wandered around. Daniel looked at some rocks; Carter took soil samples, the usual. Then we all went to the village, talked to the big chief guy. He gave us some nice wine to drink. We came home. The end. Case closed.' Jack slumped back into his chair.   
  
Hammond looked at him in surprise. 'Nice wine' the colonel had said. Could they be drunk? He studied them carefully. No, their actions were all perfectly controlled and their speech wasn't slurred. Anyway, he had seen the colonel drunk, and he had not acted like this. It was a mystery. He turned to Sam.  
  
'Major Carter, do you have anything to add?' he asked.  
  
'Nope.' Came the reply. There was a pause. 'It was very nice wine?' The others nodded in agreement.  
  
The General stared at her. This kind of behavior he might expect from his 2IC, but from Major Carter? Never.  
  
'Actually there is something I'd like to say.' Sam spoke up again.  
  
'Yes?' Hammond turned hopefully to her.  
  
'I'd like to say that the regs are stupid, and that the colonel is a very sexy man.' She grinned at Jack, who grinned back. Hammond's mouth dropped open in shock. There was something very very wrong here, and he had to find out what it was before his best team fell apart.  
  
'SG1, I don't know what is going on here, but until I find out, you are all confined to the Base. No going off Base. Is that clear?'   
  
'That's not fair!!!' Daniel burst out. 'The Base is boring! There's nothing to do!' He scowled. The others nodded in agreement.  
  
'That is an order, Dr Jackson!' Hammond said warningly, 'No going off Base until further notice. Is that clear?'  
  
There was a chorus of grumbled 'Yes, Sir's', as SG1 looked sulky. Hammond sighed.  
  
'Dismissed.' SG1 raced for the door. They couldn't seem to get out quick enough. Hammond went over the briefing in his mind. Then he stood, and went to talk to Doctor Frasier.  
  
  
SG1 sat in the common room, looking bored. Daniel sat at a desk, fiddling with a pen, while Teal'c lounged on one of the armchairs. Sam and Jack sat next to each other on the couch, with Sam playing with Jack's hair.   
  
'I'm bored!' Jack announced looking around at the others. Daniel nodded, and threw the pen on the floor.  
  
'Me too,' Sam said, sitting up. 'What shall we do?'  
  
'I wanna do something fun!' whined Daniel. 'Like something that's totally not allowed! I don't care about the consequences!'  
  
Sam nodded. 'Me neither. Wonder why that is?'  
  
Teal'c shifted position and said simply, 'I do not care.'  
  
Jack's face lit up, and an evil glint came into his eye. 'I know!' he announced. 'Me and Teal'c did some crazy things during the time loop, and I've got just the perfect idea!'  
  
The others turned to face him, curious. Jack leaned forward conspiratorially and explained his idea.   
  
  
'BEEP BEEP! COMING THROUGH!!!' Daniel's yell echoed down the corridor. Major Davis looked up, and jumped back quickly, only just in time to avoid being mown down by SG1 on quad bikes. They whipped past at top speed, going up on two wheels as they skidded around the corner. Davis ran around the corner to watch them as they continued to zoom down on the corridors of the SGC, competing for first place. It seemed like Jack was winning. SGC employees jumped out of the way to avoid a collision with the speeding SG1. A smile crept across his face, only to be wiped off, as he saw a furious General Hammond stalking down the corridor after them. Not wanting to miss out on the action, he ran after the quad bikes to see what would happen.  
  
Jack skidded past Janet Frasier on his quad bike, spilling her papers everywhere as he tried to overtake Daniel. He glanced over his shoulder to where Teal'c was catching up. But where was Carter? He looked around wildly, and then swerved to avoid his 2IC as she came bursting out of a cross corridor, with an evil grin upon her face. 'Sorry sir!' she called, and accelerated past Daniel. The four bikes skidded into the Gateroom, where Carter completed the race by accelerating up the ramp, and causing the quad to jump through the inactive Stargate. She landed, and spun the quad bike round into a stop.   
  
'WOOHOO!' Jack called as his bike screeched to a halt. 'That was great!' He laughed out loud and Daniel grinned.  
  
'Let's do that again!' Daniel exclaimed. But before they could start the quads up again, General Hammond stormed into the gateroom, his face contorted with fury.  
  
'SG1, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!' he yelled. Jack pretended to lean back by the force of Hammond's roar and grinned.  
  
'What does it look like? We're having fun! You should try it sometime, cowboy!' And with that, he patted the General on his head and raced his team out of the Gateroom, leaving four quad bikes in the center of the room. General Hammond looked frustrated. He left orders for the quad bikes to be removed and then went off in search of his team.   
  
  
Once more, SG1 were in the common room, looking bored. The only difference this time was that General Hammond had left an armed guard on the door.   
  
Sam looked confused and a little shocked. 'What made us do that?!' She asked worriedly. 'We would never do that normally?'   
  
'I don't know,' Jack ran his hand through his hair. He also looked a little worried. 'It was like I couldn't stop myself. And I really didn't care...'  
  
'Me too,' Sam replied. She glanced at Daniel who was pacing the floor.  
  
'I don't see how different this is to being locked up by the Goa'uld!' Daniel whined. The General had sent SG3 off to the planet in order to find out what was wrong with them, and they were locked up until 'further notice'.   
  
Jack looked up at Daniel and nodded. 'Yeah, except that they aren't snake heads out there.' He sighed and stretched. 'At least this 'cell' is way more comfortable than the usual ones we get.'  
  
'So why don't we do what we do when it is the Goa'uld locking us up?' Daniel questioned. 'Let's break out and go into the town! Or to O'Malleys?'  
  
'But we aren't allowed!' Sam protested.  
  
'I don't care!' Jack said suddenly, standing up and preparing to escape. 'We've done it before; remember? With the armband thingies?'   
  
'Oh yeah...' Sam stood up as well. 'Okay, seems good to me!'  
  
'So let's break down the door and take out the guards!' Jack jumped in, looking excited.  
  
'I have a better idea.' said Daniel. He knocked on the door. One of the guards opened it. 'Excuse me, but could you come and take a look at this... uh... wall? I think its leaking.' The guard looked confused but stepped in anyway. From one side of the door Sam floored the guard. The second guard ran in, armed and ready to aid his colleague. Jack swiftly disarmed him and knocked him unconscious with a swift blow.  
  
'Let's go!' Jack ran out towards the lift, with the others following.   
  
  
  
General Hammond walked into the infirmary. 'Doctor Frasier, what have you got for me?' he asked. Janet Frasier looked up.   
  
'Well, sir, it's as I originally thought. There's nothing physically wrong with them. The only remotely different thing is that they have some trace chemicals in the bloodstream. Apart from that though...' She left the sentence hanging.   
  
General Hammond sighed. 'We have to find out what is wrong, and quickly. I have already sent SG3 off to the planet to talk to the Chief of the people there and I'm hoping they can find a cure.' He scratched his head. 'I don't know what to do. It's as if they don't care about consequences anymore.'  
  
Janet Frasier looked up sharply. 'That's it!' she exclaimed.  
  
'What?' The general just looked confused.  
  
'What was it you said that Daniel said as he came through the gate?' Janet looked excited.  
  
The General thought for a moment. "I don't care about your orders anymore, Jack" he said finally. 'Something like that anyway... What about it?'  
  
'Don't you see? That's exactly what's happened! Something has happened to make SG1 not care about the consequences of what they do anymore! That explains all the weird behavior. It must be things that they have wanted to do but can't because of the "consequences" of their actions!'  
  
The general looked hopeful. 'That would explain a lot....' He paused and thought about Major Carter's "confession" during the briefing. 'Although not quite all... Do you think that's what it is?'  
  
'I'm pretty sure.' Janet said, 'But we'll have to wait for SG3 to come back to confirm it.'  
  
'Good!' The General said. 'I'll go and tell SG1. They'll be pleased to know that, I'm sure.'  
  
Just then an Airman rushed in. 'General Hammond, sir! SG1 have knocked out their guards and escaped!'  
  
'WHAT?!' The general's face contorted with anger and ran out after the Airman. Janet followed, looking worried.  
  
  
An hour later, SG1 were safely back at the base. They had been discovered at the video arcade playing on the flight simulators and killing computerized aliens. They stood in front of General Hammond while he ranted. 'What were you thinking?' He glared at them and then sighed, his shoulders sagging. 'Well, while you were away, we worked out that whatever was in that wine is what is making you do these stunts, without caring about consequences. Doctor Frasier thinks that these are things that you have wanted to do but wouldn't as the consequences would be too harsh.' He paused, and glanced at Sam and Jack, slightly suspiciously. 'As it is, since you are under the influence of an alien substance, I have decided that you cannot be held accountable for your actions and so you will not be punished for them. However, you will not be going on any missions until we have discovered a cure for this. You will also not be allowed to leave the Base, and people will be assigned to keep an eye on you all. I know this sounds harsh, but I feel it is necessary.' He looked at them all and sighed again. 'I hope that these restrictions won't have to be in place for too long. SG3 is due back again in an hour, so until then, you are dismissed.' He walked out, leaving SG1 to talk among themselves.  
  
'Well, I'm glad that we know now what was making us do that,' Sam finally spoke up.  
  
'It's only a theory at the moment though,' Daniel replied.  
  
'It's fun, though,' Jack commented.  
  
'Sir!' Sam sounded shocked.  
  
'Well it is!' Jack grinned. 'And Hammond said we won't be punished for our actions while we're under the influence of this thing.' His grin got wider.  
  
'Uh oh...' Sam guessed what was happening.  
  
'And I got this great idea!' Jack beckoned them closer and began to whisper.  
  
  
'Off World Activation!' The sirens blared once more. An extremely hassled looking General Hammond sighed in relief as he was told that it was SG3. SG1 had decided that a food fight was a great idea, causing much havoc in the commissary amongst SGC personnel and the commissary workers. They currently were sitting in the briefing room, being watched over while they played Twister. This, at least, General Hammond thought, was a fairly safe activity. 'Fairly' being the operative word. Every now and then, arguments would erupt from the room, which for some reason, always seemed to be about the colonel cheating.   
  
'Welcome back, SG3,' He spoke to the team who had just come in through the stargate. 'Post mission physicals and then to the briefing room ASAP.' They nodded and walked out of the gate room.  
  
  
That evening, SG1 were confined to their quarters overnight. The effects were due too wear off at exactly 1800 hours the following day, and General Hammond decided that the last thing the base needed was SG1 running riot all night. So he ordered them to go to their separate quarters, and placed a guard on their doors. 'Hopefully,' he thought, 'this will give the base a break.' He considered asking Janet to give them something to sleep, but decided against it. 'What harm could SG1 possibly do when confined by themselves?'  
  
By 1700 hours the next day, Hammond was exhausted. After having a loud, and frankly dangerous game of bowling in one of the corridors, which had left Sergeant Siler unconscious, SG1 had somehow managed to get hold of paint and had proceeded to paint the entire gate room lime green. With an orange floor. And for some strange reason, Palm trees. In order to do this, Major Carter had changed the password on the computer and sealed all the blast doors. By the time their guards had realised, they were unconscious in one corner, courtesy of a zat gun. Right now, Hammond had all the people he could spare repainting the gateroom back to its original grey. He was walking down a corridor when he heard voices. He realised that they were coming from Major Carter's quarters. He listened closely.  
  
'Well, something old...that's my charm bracelet. And something new... uh...these shoes.' Sam's voice came through the half open door. Hammond stiffened in surprise.  
  
'And you borrowed Janet's earrings, and your dress uniform is something blue!' Jack's voice answered her. Hammond's mouth fell open in shock as he realised what he was hearing. He pushed open the door and stormed in.  
  
'Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, what do you think you're doing?!' He shouted.  
  
Sam giggled. 'We're eloping! To Las Vegas!' Jack grinned and put his arm around her shoulders.  
  
Hammond looked stunned. 'I can't let you do that.'  
  
Sam glared. 'Why not?'  
  
'The fraternization regulations for one thing.' Hammond said, clearly getting annoyed.  
  
'Oh yeah,' Jack pondered, as if he had forgotten about them, 'I should care about those... I don't, though.'  
  
Hammond sighed. 'Where are your guards?' Jack looked slightly guilty, and Sam tried not to grin. Hammond spun around, hearing a noise from the closet in one corner of the room. He pulled open the door to find the guards bound and gagged inside. He sighed, and rolled his eyes. 1800 hours couldn't come quickly enough!!  
  
  
1755 hours, and for the entire SGC the nightmare was almost over. Several members had been ambushed in the corridors by SG1 with water pistols, and many others had fallen victim to the 'bucket of water balanced on an open door' trick. Since Jack seemed to be the ringleader of SG1's escapades, General Hammond had assigned three guards, to keep an eye on him. Teal'c and Daniel were being kept occupied by a game of 'tag' in the gym with some of the younger officers, and Sam was currently being kept an eye on by Janet and General Hammond himself.  
  
'It's funny,' she mused as they walked towards the Briefing Room, 'But when we think of something crazy to do, it's as if there is nothing there to stop us from doing it.'  
  
'Well, I'll be glad when this is all over!' General Hammond sighed. Janet nodded in agreement. She had had her fair share of SG1's 'fun'. As a result of this, her lab coat was now tie-dyed blue and green, and the walls of the infirmary had been covered in pictures, to 'cheer it up'.  
  
As they came to the practically empty control room, Jack came towards them. Sam heard him mutter quietly, 'Stuff the Regs.' Acknowledging the General and Janet with the merest nod of his head, he pushed past them, took Sam's face in his hands and kissed her, and tipping her back.   
  
As Janet looked on in shock, General Hammond just shook his head in defeat. 'I give up.' He sighed, 'I'll be glad when this thing is over, and they stop acting like this!' He continued into the Briefing Room, Janet following him.  
  
'I can't believe that they would do that though,' she said, gesturing to Sam and Jack. 'And why aren't you doing anything about it?'  
  
'Well, they are under the influence of this alien thing,' the General shrugged. 'There's nothing I can really do. They are hardly doing it of their own free will, so it isn't technically against the regulations.'  
  
Janet nodded, and glanced up at the clock. She turned back to General Hammond, when she did a double take. 'What?' She looked shocked. General Hammond looked confused, and looked up as well. It was 1810 hours. They both looked at each other, stunned, and ran back to where Sam and Jack had been. They were gone. 


End file.
